


What Were We Built For, Could Someone Tell Me, Please?

by m_a_ioux



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 11:23:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11736045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_a_ioux/pseuds/m_a_ioux
Summary: Even when you think your life is perfect, things could still go wrong. They will only hurt more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language - any mistakes are obviously mine. Opinions and comments are always welcome.  
> Thanks to Angel for the help. xo  
> Title from Megalomania by Muse.
> 
> Once again, a repost. Originally posted on my old account - j3tst4r - which is now deleted.

"See that kid over there?"

"Mhm. Do you think he's new?"

"No! No, I've seen him around more often. He's just got like, no friends."

"Are you serious?"

"Well, doesn't look like he's very keen to make friends."

"I'm gonna talk to him," I interrupted the whispers of the rest of the group. Everyone stared at me, until someone spoke up, "you're kidding."

"I'm not," I simply said, before walking off to the guy sitting on his own in the school's main hall. "Hello! You seemed pretty lonely, I thought I'd come say hi. I like your hair," I told him, referring to the mass of brown curls.

The guy slowly looked up, his eyes wide. "Oh, uh- hi...!" He mumbled, blushing faintly. "Uhm, thank you."

"I'm Gerard," I continued, smiling kindly. "Ray," the other replied quietly.

"Nice to meet you, Ray!" I said. Ray smiled nervously, then quickly looked down again. "So are you waiting for anyone? Were you busy?"

He quickly shook his head. "Just writing some stuff," he mumbled, waving vaguely at his now closed notebook. "But it's not important."

I nodded a bit and slowly sat down near Ray. "That's cool! Do you write stories?" I asked, Ray shrugging. "Sometimes. Lots of different stuff," he said quietly. I nodded.

"That's awesome!" I laughed, looking up when the school bell rang. "Oh, that sucks- I liked talking to you!" I said, getting up. Ray shot him a small smile, quickly gathering his stuff. "Thanks, uh, I liked it too," he nodded. His hands were shaking a little- he was obviously nervous. He dropped his notebook when attempting to put it away, groaning and leaning down. I quickly bent down and picked it up, handing it to him. "I'd love to hang out with you," I said, Ray's hand freezing mid-air while reaching for the notebook. "You- r-really?" He stuttered, actually shocked. I nodded quickly as a reply. "Yes, absolutely! If that's fine with you, of course."

Ray looked away, but nodded. "Y-yeah, I mean, absolutely," he said quietly. I smiled wide, nodding. "Awesome! Meet me here at lunch?" I asked. Ray nodded, glancing around a bit. "Yeah- yeah, sure!" He said, unable to keep his lips from curving upwards.

"See you then!" I called out, waving and quickly walking off. "S-see you," Ray whispered to himself. I saw him staring after me before picking his bag up and walking to his own class.

_.oO0Oo._

"Ray! Ray, over here!" I yelled when I saw him walking into the room. Ray turned around sharply when he heard his name, me waving at him from a table. He quickly walked over, smiling nervously. "Gerard, hi...!" Ray smiled nervously at me and my friends.

"So, guys, this is Ray," I grinned, some of the others waving vaguely. Ray blushed and glanced around to find a spare seat. I quickly patted the seat next to myself, wordlessly inviting Ray to sit down.

Ray swallowed thickly and held his bag close, slowly sitting down. "Tell me about you?" I asked, ignoring the others talking to each other. Ray looked down and played with his hands. "Uhm... I like writing and playing music?" He offered with a shrug.

"No way, that's awesome!" I chuckled. "I play a little bit of guitar, 's all. But I like singing! I like drawing, too. And playing video games and watching movies and-"

"I like video games," Ray whispered, making me grin. "Really? We can play together some time! You can come to my place if you want!" I giggled, tugging at Ray's sleeve in excitement. "Like, that would be so cool!"

"I-I don't know," Ray mumbled, smiling sheepishly.

"Oh, please! You can meet my brother, Mikey. He's young- but I love him!"

"Well- sure...!" Ray said softly, nodding. I let out a happy squeal, looking up at him. "How about tonight after school??" I asked him eagerly.

Ray hesitated before nodding. "Sounds good."

"Perfect!" I laughed. "We can walk home together? I don't live far!" I offered, Ray nodding a bit. "Perfect! I'll see you after school at the gates?" I giggled, standing up.

"Yeah, sure!" Ray said, a nervous smile on his face. He took his bag and got up, nodding again. "I'll see you then," he whispered. I waved before we both walked to our own classes.

_.oO0Oo._

"I'm gonna win!"

"No- no! You're too good at this!"

Ray and I were laughing as we played a game of Mario Kart, sat on my couch. "Ray, you're way too good at this game!" I shrieked as I drove into the wall once again, making Ray laugh loudly. We looked up when the front door opened- my mom and brother. I paused the game when my little brother came running over, immediately putting the remote down to hug him.

"Hi, Mikey! How was school?" I asked, pressing a kiss to the kid's forehead.

"Who's that...?" Mikey mumbled shyly, leaning against me and peeking up at Ray- completely ignoring my question.

"That's my friend, Ray! We were playing Mario Kart," I told him, then picked him up and set him on my lap. "Say hi."

"Hello Ray!" Mikey giggled, waving at Ray, before laughing and hiding his face in my chest. "Hi, Mikey," Ray said softly and waved back, grinning wide.

"I wanna play too!" Mikey cried out suddenly, looking up at me with a pout. "Pretty please?"

"Do you wanna race against Ray?" I asked. "But be careful, Ray is super super good at this game!" I warned Mikey, who was nodding eagerly. "Yeah, I wanna!"

"That okay for you?" I asked and set Mikey down next to me, Ray nodding. "Absolutely. I bet I'll win!" Ray grinned, Mikey shaking his head. "No, I will! I will win!" He cried out, reaching for the remote. I helped Mikey to set up another game, then moved aside a bit to let the two play.

"Go," Mikey mumbled to himself, Ray glancing at me with a wide smile. I grinned back and shot Ray a wink, making him blush. Ray turned back to the tv quickly and started playing, though occasionally pretended to lose control over the wheel or bump into various obstacles. Mikey ended up finishing second, Ray tenth.

"Wow, you beat me! You're good!" Ray said and turned to Mikey, who was practically beaming. "I did it!! I told you!" He giggled, pulling at my sleeve. He then turned around, crawling over to Ray. "I beat you!" He said, playfully sticking his tongue out.

"Mikey, be nice!" Our mom called out from the kitchen. Mikey pouted and nodded a bit, then sat up on his knees and kissed Ray's nose. "I'm sorry!"

Ray raised an eyebrow and blushed faintly, chuckling. "Oh- that's okay," he said softly, lightly patting Mikey's hair. Mikey giggled and sat next to Ray, looking up at him. "You're big! And you have silly hair!"

Ray chuckled a bit, tilting his head and running a hand through his hair. "You think?" He asked. Mikey nodded and reached up, whispering, "can I touch it?"

Ray chuckled and nodded quickly. "Of course!"  
Mikey giggled and sat up on his knees, playing with Ray's curls. "It feels so soft!" He squealed, standing up next to Ray to reach further up.

"Ray, would you like to stay for dinner?" mom called out from the kitchen, smiling softly.

"Oh, uhh... Sure!" Ray said hesitantly, "if it's no problem for you-"

"Oh, not at all!" She interrupted him, chuckling. "We're eating pizza, if that's okay for you."

"Oh, yeah, I like pi-" Ray started, but got interrupted by Mikey. "Pizza, yay!! Thank you, mommy!"

"Mikes, relax!" I laughed, pulling him to my chest. Mikey squirmed and kicked, giggling loudly. I looked up at Ray with a wide smile. "I'm glad you're staying! I like you."

Ray laughed softly, playing with his hands. "T-thanks-?" He mumbled, smiling nervously. I chuckled and leaned over to ruffle his hair a bit. "Mikey was right- soft. Very."

Ray just looked away and giggled- he did that a lot. I already found it adorable.

"Wanna play another game?" I asked, and he immediately nodded. "Sure!"

We sat back on the couch and kept on playing until mom called us for dinner. Mikey squealed and ran over to the table. "Ray, sit next to me! Please?" He pouted. Ray laughed and nodded a bit, walking over. "Sure...!"

Mikey pushed the chair standing next to him aside, Ray laughing and sitting down. "Thank you!" He said with a smile, Mikey giggling and looking at me. I winked at him, then gave him a thumbs up.

"You're sweet," Ray said, Mikey practically beaming. He didn't reply, though- pizza was served. That's more important.

We all ate dinner and talked- we got to know some more about Ray. What he liked to do, the music he liked, the comics he read. Once we finished eating, we just kept on talking about anything.

And playing Mario Kart. Obviously.

"I should probably get going," Ray said softly after a couple more rounds. "Don't want my parents to worry."

I nodded and stood up, hugging Ray quickly. "Thanks for coming over," I whispered with a grin. Mikey ran over and wrapped his arms around mine and Ray's waists. "Don't gooooo!" He whined, looking up at Ray with big eyes and a pout. Ray chuckled softly and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Mikey's forehead. "I promise I'll come back another time," he said softly, Mikey squealing in excitement. Ray laughed and got up again, smiling at me. "I'll see you at school...?" He asked hopefully, and I nodded quickly. "Totally! Tomorrow morning, I promise!"

Ray smiled brightly at me, then we walked to the door together. "Thanks for coming," I said again while Ray put his jacket on.

"Thanks for letting me," he whispered. We hugged again quickly, said our goodbyes, then he walked out the door. I walked back inside with a wide grin- I was already excited to see him again the next day.


	2. 14 y/o

"Where the fuck is he?"

I was sitting at school- the same spot I sat every single morning, waiting for Ray. The thing is, it was late. Like, awfully late. I probably already missed a whole class. It wasn't something Ray would just do, leaving me on my own there without letting me know anything. Something must've happened. Every single possibility ran through my head. Maybe he just overslept. Or he was sick. Or something happened on his way to school. Or he entered the school building via another entrance and left me here on purpose-

I raised an eyebrow and shook my head. I wouldn't allow myself to think of Ray like that. I knew that was not at all what Ray would do. Something /really/ serious must've happened.

I took my phone for the millionth time that morning, checking for any texts of him. Nothing. I told myself not to send him any more texts or try to call him, his phone would literally blow up. Though, I couldn't keep myself from sending one last message. 'I'm going to class, alright? Please let me know something if you can, I'm awfully worried. Xo'

I put my phone in my jeans' pocket and sighed, standing up when the bell rang. I quickly walked to my next class, mumbling a half-assed excuse for being late and sitting in the far back of the room. I didn't let go of my phone all day.

After school I practically ran home. Ray still hadn't texted back, and I was extremely worried now. I ran through the front door quickly and down to my bedroom to quickly put on another shirt, when I heard the doorbell ring. I considered not opening the door, but then again, that probably wasn't a good idea. I sprinted back upstairs and quickly opened the door, freezing in the doorway. "R-Ray?!"

"H-hey," Ray whispered, keeping his head down. "Gerard, I'm sorry, I-" he started, but I cut him off by pulling him inside and hugging him tightly. "Oh my god, I was so worried," I whispered, pressing a kiss to his hair. "Ray, are you okay?"

He pulled back and nodded quickly, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah. Sorry, I, uh..." He mumbled, looking away. "I was sick. Couldn't come to school," he said- I didn't believe a single word of it. I gently took one of his hands in both of mine, looking up at him. "Ray- you know you can tell me anything, right?" I whispered. He swallowed thickly and hesitated before nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, I- of course I do," he mumbled.

"Take a seat on the couch, I'll make you some coffee," I said softly, guiding him to the living room and setting him down on the couch. He seemed so exhausted, so worn out.

I quickly walked to the kitchen and made two mugs of coffee, then quickly walked over to Ray again. I handed him one of the mugs, then took a blanket and wrapped it around him carefully. "T-thank you," he whispered, staring down at his mug. I sat next to him, stroking his hair- I knew that calmed him down.

Ray sighed shakily and leaned into me, closing his eyes. I pressed a kiss to his hair and kept holding him close. Once he relaxed a little, I spoke up again. "Wanna talk about what happened?"

Ray sighed softly and slowly sat up again, though he didn't look up at me. "I, uh- it's not that bad. I basically got locked up in my room."

I raised an eyebrow, looking at him in confusion. "How- how do you mean?" I asked slowly. Ray ran a hand through his hair and looked down. "Uh... My mom. She, well, did it. It's fine- I did a bad thing, that was my punishment," he said softly, shrugging.

"Wow, wow- what did you do?" I asked, frowning. Ray just shrugged again. "Bad grades and stuff."

"And she locks you up in your room for that?!" I asked, getting angrier and angrier by the second. Why would she do that?

"Uh- yeah," Ray mumbled. "Took my phone and all. It was like, in the heat of the moment."

"Do they do things like that more often?" I whispered, my face completely falling when Ray nodded slowly.

Ray had never told me much about his family- and now I understood why.

"Stay here tonight?" I asked him, kissing his cheek gently. Ray sighed and nodded a bit, curling up against me. This boy loved cuddles, damn. I smiled and held him close, nuzzling his hair gently. We kept on talking about anything we could come up with, to get his mind off of it. To make him happy. Ray ended up staying at my place that evening. We had dinner, played with Mikey, and he was going to stay the night. I wouldn't let him go back there that easily.

"Are you sure you won't get cold in just your boxers and T-shirt?" I murmured to a sleepy Ray. He rubbed his eyes and slowly curled up, shaking his head a bit. I sighed softly and got into bed next to him, immediately feeling him curling up with his head against my chest. It made me smile- he was adorable.

"Night," Ray just mumbled, already half asleep. "Night, Ray," I whispered in his ear, then kissed his cheek. He fell asleep almost immediately, occasionally shifting or making a soft noise in his sleep. I ended up drifting off with my arms around him, snuggled up under the covers. I actually felt safe and loved.


	3. 16 y/o

"Gerard, can you please go open the door?"

I sighed and got up from the couch, though I didn't look up from my phone. Ray hadn't texted me since last afternoon. I opened the door and looked up, seeing him. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, and he was holding his guitar case and a bag.

"R-Ray...?" I whispered, pulling him inside quickly. He stumbled, but I wrapped my arms around him, holding him up. All he did was lean on me, hiding his face in my shoulder and sob. I brought him to my bedroom carefully after taking his bags, closing the door and setting him down on the bed. He curled into himself- his whole body was shaking. "Ray, honey," I whispered, crawling into bed next to him. He was clearly exhausted. He just whimpered and curled into me, gripping my shirt.

"D-don't let me go," he whispered- it was barely audible. I frowned and held him tightly, pressing my lips to his forehead as I talked, "hey, hey... I'm not letting you go. Not leaving. Alright? I'm right here, you're safe here."

Ray sniffled and wiped his eyes on my shirt, nuzzling my shoulder doing so. I let him. His breathing was slowing down already, and his sobs became softer. I frowned as I stroked his hair gently. Was it his family again? By now I'd realized how awful they were towards him. But this... I hadn't ever seen Ray as bad as this.

"Ray, do- do you want to talk about it?" I whispered a while later, looking down at Ray. He swallowed thickly and wiped his eyes once again before he started to speak. "My parents, I- they kicked me out."

I kept quiet for a bit. "W-what...?" I said quietly after a few seconds. "They- they did /what/?!"

Ray flinched as I raised my voice, and choked out another sob. "Oh- oh god, Ray, I'm sorry," I whispered, quickly pulling him close. He buried his face in my chest and sobbed quietly as I kept stroking his hair. "Ray, I'm sorry," I kept whispering.

"No- it's not your fault," he whispered, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

"But-but /why/?" I whispered, frowning and stroking his cheek. He looked so... Helpless. Scared like a little kid.

"They- they found out I'm... Questioning," he mumbled, taking a shaky breath. I frowned, tilting my head. "You're-?"

"Questioning my sexuality. Even gender."

I sighed softly and hugged him close to me, kissing his forehead. "That's okay, you know that?" I whispered, running a hand into his hair. Ray sniffled and simply shrugged.

"It's okay. It's okay not to know, too. You can find out- and I'll help you, alright?" I whispered, kissing his cheek. He sighed softly and rested his head on my shoulder, closing his eyes. "Yeah..." He whispered quietly, sighing again.

"You know what? Take your jeans off and get in bed, take a nap," I said softly, kissing his hair. "I'll help, c'mon."

He nodded slowly and rolled onto his back, though kept his eyes shut. I stood up and unbuttoned his jeans, carefully pulling them down and off. Ray shivered a little, so I went to take a blanket, quickly wrapping it around him. I then pulled the bedcovers over him, sitting on the side of the bed. Ray was already half asleep by now.

"Take a nap, honey," I whispered, kissing his forehead. "I'll make you some coffee. I'll be back when you wake up."

It took him just seconds to actually fall asleep. I kept stroking his hair for a few minutes, then got up and walked upstairs. I went to the kitchen to make coffee, meanwhile thinking about what he'd told me. I knew he thought he was bi, but he never said anything about gender questioning. The first thing I could think of was Ray in a dress. He'd be cute.

I pulled a face. What the fuck was I thinking?

I shook my head quickly and turned back to the coffee machine, considering how to bring it up to him. I hoped he knew he could talk to me about anything. All I wanted was to be there for him. I soon walked back to my bedroom with two mugs of coffee, and sat on the floor next to my bed, looking down at Ray. He seemed so small, innocent, vulnerable. But oh so adorable.

Ray woke up a while later, stretching and yawning. I looked up from the comic I was reading and smiled wide when I saw him. "Hey," I said softly, Ray peeking his eyes open. "Mmh...?"

"Did you sleep well?" I whispered, sitting next to the bed and reaching over to stroke his hair. He smiled a bit and sniffed, stretching again. "Yeah, very good..." He mumbled, then yawned. I giggled softly- he looked awfully cute.

"We can eat a bit if you want," I murmured, stroking his cheek gently. "You can borrow some pajamas."

Ray shrugged it off, slowly sitting up. He had red lines on his face from sleeping on the wrinkled covers, his cheeks rosy. "I brought some clothes and stuff, it's okay."

I nodded a bit and got up, reaching my hands out to help him up as well. "C'mere, I'll help," I murmured. I took his hands and helped him to stand up, then he reached over for the bag he brought, to grab some pajamas. I took them and walked over, taking his T-shirt off and kissing his forehead after, then helped him to put the warm pajama shirt on. "Step in," I said while holding the pajama pants up a bit. Ray carefully grabbed my shoulders to steady himself as he stepped into the pants, and I pulled them up carefully. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh, a soft smile on his lips. "Thank you," he whispered, to which I nodded and hugged him quickly. "No problem. Let's go have dinner?" I murmured. Ray nodded, taking my hand and holding it tightly. I let him. I gently squeezed his hand, then lifted it a bit to kiss his fingers. He smiled and blushed a little, walking along up the stairs.

"Mom, can we join in?" I murmured as I peeked into the kitchen, where my mom was making dinner. She nodded quickly, smiling kindly. "Of course! Mikey, can you set the table, please?" She called out, Mikey getting up with a whine. I smirked at him, to which he stuck his tongue out as he walked by. He smiled at Ray, who shot a tiny smile back, then walked to the kitchen. "Four people, then?" He checked, mom nodding.

I took Ray's hand and pulled him to the couch. "Are you still cold?" I murmured. He sighed and shrugged a bit. "A little. It's cause I'm sleepy." I pouted and sat next to him on the couch, wrapping my arms around him. He immediately curled up against my side, his head on my shoulder. We sat there in silence, my hand playing wit a strand of his curls, his breath tickling my throat. His eyes were shut- I had no idea if he was awake or asleep.

"Boys, dinner," mom soon whispered from the doorway, shooting us a small smile. "Take your time," she murmured, then left for the kitchen again. I kissed Ray's forehead gently and he stirred- I supposed he was asleep, then. He stifled a yawn and brought a hand up to rub his eyes in an almost childish way, while he slowly sat up. I smiled at him. "Hey, sleepy."

He laughed a bit and blushed, covering his face with his hands in an attempt to hide it. He was adorable. "Mmh- 'm sorry... Was I out for long?" He mumbled. I shook my head. "About fifteen minutes or so? No big deal," I said, ruffling his hair.

"Good. Wouldn't want you to get /too/ bored without me," he said with a grin, making me laugh.

"I love you," I chuckled, standing up and pulling him along to the kitchen, where we sat down. Ray sat next to Mikey- he stayed here a lot, he already had his own seat. Mikey shot him a small grin, then quickly put food on his plate.

"Go ahead and take as much as you want," mom murmured, ruffling Ray's hair gently. She totally loved him. Ray smiled up at her and blushed faintly, then scooped up some food. He started eating quickly- he was obviously hungry. I chuckled as I watched him- I could stare at him for ages.

He was simply an... Interesting guy.

And pretty. Really cute.

I pulled a face, pushing the thought out of my head. Ray was my best friend- what the fuck was I even thinking?

I took my food and started eating. We had a nice dinner: talking, listening, laughing. Ray had this cute smile on his face, I absolutely adored it. I loved seeing him happy. After dinner, Ray was obviously the first one to offer to do the dishes, yet my mom wouldn't let him do anything but relax.

"Ray, honey, just go, yeah? Mikey will help me," she said, Mikey letting out a loud groan. I giggled and took Ray's hand, waving at Mikey before walking off to my bedroom. Ray smiled and followed close behind me, sitting next to me on my bed.

"We can cuddle and watch a movie," I offered. He nodded a bit, already laying down and getting comfortable. I grinned and started whatever movie was still in the DVD player, then quickly crawled into bed next to him, and wrapped my arms around him. We stayed like that until we both eventually fell asleep, the movie still on.


	4. 17 y/o

"Don't turn around yet."

Ray was living with us now.

Eventually, things became normal and more natural. Ray and I usually shared my bed, fulfilling our needs for affection. Honestly, he was a cuddly guy. The second I'd get into bed with him, he would curl up against me one way or another. Holding my hands to warm them up- somehow his hands were always warm.

We basically switched between joking around, watching movies in silence and having deep conversations. The latter part mostly happened late at night. Well, early in the morning. We talked a lot about how he felt, like sexuality and gender identity. He was getting more and more at ease while talking about those things- not only with me. He told me he'd like to experiment, for both topics. Which was exactly what we were about to do.

"Can I turn around yet?" I whined, sitting on my bed with my hands covering my eyes. All I could hear was Ray stumbling around and sometimes fabric on fabric. Was he rearranging my closet or something?

"Not yet," he grumbled, the mattress dipping under- supposedly- his weight. I heard some more shuffling around, then felt him standing up and taking a deep breath.

"Go ahead."

I pulled my hands away and blinked quickly at the sudden bright light, then when I thought I could actually see again, I turned to face him.

My jaw dropped.

"Holy shit," I whispered, unable to look away. Ray was standing there with his hands behind his back, but he was wearing a skirt and stockings. I didn't know this was what he meant with experimenting.

"Myeah," he mumbled, blushing a bit. "It feels nice. Like, really loose 'n all? I like it."

I got up and walked over to him, running a hand down the side of the skirt gently. "Fuck, Ray- you look awfully cute in that," I laughed, shaking my head. He grinned sheepishly and rolled his eyes, shifting.

"I- thank you," he muttered, playing with the hem of his skirt.

"I didn't know you meant this when you said experimenting," I said. Well, not like I minded. I knew he'd been doing different stuff to find things out- some of them not as much fun as the others.

A while ago we started going to clubs or events from time to time. Usually Ray hooked up with someone, whether it was some flirting, kissing, or... more. He'd had boys and girls- which wasn't hard. Literally everyone could fall for him. He was hot, friendly, funny- what else do you need, right?

At least, /I/ didn't need much else.

I was really really glad that he finally got the courage to discover himself, without feeling bad for it. Yet whenever he hooked up with someone, I felt- strange. I suddenly didn't like the idea of it anymore. I'd rather have him at home, in his nerdy pajamas, cuddling with me. I know it sounds selfish, but every time I see him with somebody else, I get so... Angry, on the inside.

I felt like I wanted Ray all for myself.

"Gee? Are you listening?" He asked, waving a hand in front of my face. I looked up quickly, eyes wide. "Huh? Sorry, sorry-" I mumbled, blushing a bit. "You, uh, you look really good."

"Thanks," he laughed, looking away. I glanced up at him- had he been this close the whole time?

He glanced down at me- he was /tall/. Like, I had to tilt my head up to look at him. I could only think of how sweet, how beautiful he was, how soft his lips seemed-

He suddenly leaned down and pressed them against mine.

I froze, my eyes wide open. So /that/'s what they felt like. I soon enough kissed him back, eyes falling shut, my hands on his cheeks. I suddenly felt calm and satisfied- this is the thing I didn't know I needed.

He pulled away after a while- too soon for my liking. I needed more. I immediately pulled him back down, pressing our lips together again. He didn't complain, he kissed back right away, which I could only take as a good sign.

Eventually we parted again, both blushing and panting softly. I looked down, my hand finding his. Ray let out a soft laugh, tangling our fingers together. "Been wanting to do that for quite a while," he whispered. It made me giggle.

"I'm glad," I said, looking up at him. "Like, I really am." I was.

He chuckled and suddenly hugged me tightly, burying his face in my neck. "Love you," he whispered, kissing my shoulder. I giggled and wrapped my arms around him, stroking his hair. "Love you too," I whispered back, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Cuddle and movies?" I asked. He giggled and nodded, taking my hands and pulling me to the bed. He was surprisingly comfortable already.

We didn't take long to curl up against each other, snuggled underneath the covers. I had his arms around him, lightly stroking his hair as I watched the movie. Ray slowly tangled our legs, taking my free hand and intertwining our fingers. He occasionally pressed small kisses to my chin or cheek, and sometimes I tilted my head down to meet his lips.

I could definitely get used to this.


	5. 22 y/o

"I can't believe we're doing this!"

Ray and I were standing in our living room, surrounded by the few remaining bags and boxes. This moment was simply unbelievable.

We actually found a rather cheap, yet beautiful apartment- which was now ours. In just a few minutes, we would drive off to move in there. A place of our own! I smiled wide at the thought- in those five years Ray and I had been dating, I had dreamt about this happening. So many times. I knew Ray had, too. He loved to talk about our future. I was more than happy to listen to his rambling at all times.

Mikey and his boyfriend were watching us talk- they were about as excited as Ray and I were. Though maybe Mikey was mostly glad that I wouldn't be there to complain when he and Pete had had a... Rough night. Yeah.

"Let's get going," Ray whispered in my ear, followed by a soft but excited giggle. I grinned at him and nodded, taking the last boxes to bring them outside to the car.

Once all the bags were inside the car, everyone came outside. Mikey, Pete, and mom, who was wiping tears away with a tissue. "Look at my boys, all grown up," she sniffled, Mikey grinning and playfully rolling his eyes. I laughed a bit and quickly ran over, hugging mom tightly. "Mom, we don't live far away. Just a couple streets...!" I said, kissing her cheek. She buried her face in my neck, sniffing. "Just look at you- you're so big and independent now! God, I can just remember when you were still a baby-"

"Let's not go that way," I gently interrupted her, chuckling. She laughed and shook her head, then let out a shaky sigh. "It'll be so quiet without you two around," she said softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead. She smiled at me, then suddenly walked over to Ray, pulling him against her own tiny form for a hug. "And you! You were just a little boy when you moved in, and you're moving out again like a man!" She cried out, Ray laughing and hugging her tightly. "Oh, I'll miss you too, mama Way," he murmured, grinning a bit. Mom reached up to cup Ray's cheeks, then stood on her tiptoes so she could kiss his forehead. Ray leaned down a bit, laughing softly as she just continued rambling about how much she'd miss us.

I laughed lightly at her, then walked over to Mikey, who was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, a smirk on his face. I grinned back at him, then, as if on cue, we both leaned in for a hug. I held him close to me, squeezing my eyes shut, while he lightly gripped my hair with one hand. As if he didn't want to let go.

"I'll miss you, nerd," he whispered, making me laugh. "I'll miss you too, asshole," I shot back, earning a playful punch to the shoulder. Mikey sighed and took hold of both my hands suddenly. "Really though- I'll miss you. Hell, my best friend is suddenly gonna be a lot farther away from me," he muttered. I sighed and pressed a kiss to his cheek, squeezing his hands. "Hey, come on- it's not that far. Besides, we've got a spare room, if you ever wanna stay with us..." I murmured, a grin spreading on Mikey's face.

"Deal. I'll remember that," he said, nodding eagerly. I rolled my eyes playfully, then sighed. "It will be strange. But a good kind of strange, right?" I said softly, Mikey nodding. "I'll probably come over and bug you every day," he said matter-of-factly, shrugging. I snorted, ruffling his hair. "I won't complain," I just said, then turned to Pete, hugging him quickly. He had definitely become part of the family too- he was with Mikey like, all the time.

"Take care of my brother, weirdo," I grumbled, trying (and failing) not to show my grin. He smirked and glanced at Mikey, who was already walking over to Ray, then he nodded. "I definitely will. No need to worry."

I smiled at him, hugging him once more before turning back to the others, Ray and Mikey in the middle of a tight hug. My mom was watching them, still wiping tears away.

"Time to go," I said softly, Mikey letting out a whine as he pulled away from Ray. He obviously loved Ray, he always had done- and I was more than glad about it.

"I'll see you soon," Ray told him, ruffling his hair a bit. I giggled and lightly tugged him towards the car. "We'll see you guys soon!" I called out. "Probably tomorrow or something, knowing us. Independent? Did you really think so, mom?" I snorted, making her laugh loudly.

"Better be back soon!" She yelled back, waving at us as we both got into the car. I sighed, running my hands over the steering wheel lightly. Ray turned to me, smiling. "You okay?" He whispered, and I nodded. "Totally," I said with a grin, my hand finding his. Ray looked out of the window and waved as I started the car. Once we had turned the corner, Ray sighed and sat back, a smile on his face. I glanced at him, chuckling softly and rested my hand on his thigh. "I love you," I whispered, making him look up to me.

"I love you too," he replied, lifting my hand and kissing it. I grinned wide and bit down on my lip- I was so, so in love with him.

Eventually I stopped the car in front of our apartment building. We took our time to get all the boxes and bags up to our apartment, then just stood in the middle of the living room in silence. The place was beautiful already. It just had to be personalized.

We had it all planned out, though. We'd take a blackboard wall in the kitchen, another wall in the living room just to put up pictures, later. Thank god we already had the walls painted before we got here. The couches, tables, cupboards, beds and others were already there- we just needed to unpack, and we'd be set. Ready to, in one way, start our new lives.

Ray leaned over to kiss my cheek, then walked off and started opening boxes. This would be a long, long day.

_.oO0Oo._

"How difficult can it be to make a fucking ikea cupboard?"

Ray was laying on the floor, surrounded by empty bags, screws and papers. I looked at him from the couch and chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "Need help? Maybe you just need some distraction," I grinned. He stood up with a groan, two screws falling out of his shirt. He looked down at them- he looked /done/. "Are those... The two I couldn't find?" He slowly said, then rolled his eyes and picked them up. "Distraction would be good."

I stood up, walking over to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. "We could go say hi to the neighbors?" I offered, chuckling. He nodded eagerly, taking my hand and pulling me to the door. We walked out and to the door of the apartment next to us.

I knocked on the door, but Ray gripped my arm before I could. "What do we say?" He whispered, blushing a little. I shrugged, then just knocked. I squinted a bit, I vaguely heard music playing. It suddenly stopped, and we heard footsteps. Probably someone running to the door.

Ray played with his hands nervously, looking up with a gasp when the door swung open. A rather small guy, about the same age as us, black hair and covered with piercings and tattoos raised an eyebrow at us. I had to admit I felt a bit intimidated, even with his tiny form.

"Uh- hi! We're, uh, the new neighbors," I said, smiling sheepishly. The guy's eyes widened, then he grinned wide. "Oh, hey! It's so nice to meet you guys! I'm Frank," he said, holding his hand out.

I smiled, shaking his hand. "Gerard. This is my boyfriend, Ray," I said, Frank waving a bit. Ray blushed and smiled nervously, hesitantly waving back. Cute.

"You came here this morning, didn't you?" Frank asked. Ray and I nodded. "Do you need help unpacking?" Frank asked us.

"We're okay," I started, but Ray interrupted me. "I can't fix the cupboard," he mumbled, pouting almost childishly. I chuckled and rubbed his back a bit. "Hey, I'll help you with it."

"Ikea shit? I'm good at that, I'll help!" Frank said, then simply walked to our front door. I raised an eyebrow, snorting. "Listen, we're okay, it's fine-!" I started, but Frank casually walked through the open door, disappearing into our place.

Well then.

Ray grinned a bit and walked after Frank quickly. I rolled my eyes and decided to walk in after them, closing the door behind me. They were already on the floor, like two kids working on a puzzle or something.

It was funny, really. Ray has mentioned how he wanted kids one day, yet he was basically a kid himself. I smiled at the thought, walking to the kitchen. "Want a drink, guys?" I called out, Frank and Ray both nodding. "Water, please?" He called out and smiled sweetly, Frank nodding along. I chuckled and quickly filled two glasses, bringing them over.

"Thanks, baby," Ray murmured, looking up and pouting his lips. I set the cups down on the ground and peck his lips. He grinned wide and ran a hand through my hair, Frank cooing. Ray blushed faintly and giggled a bit, rolling his eyes.

I pulled away with a grin and sat on the couch, watching them. They seemed to get along pretty well, and I just knew Frank would be with us more often. Which I definitely didn't mind, I sorta liked him- and really, if Ray was happy, I was happy.


	6. 24 y/o

"You want me to what, now?"

Ray was staring at me from the kitchen, raising an eyebrow.

"You heard me. Pleeeeaaase, baby, I've been taking classes and I need a canvas!" I whined, walking over to him.

Ray snorted and turned back to me, dropping the towel he was holding onto the counter. "Honey- you want to paint me?" He asked, and I nodded eagerly.

"I even got body paint," I said with a shrug. "It's kinda like homework for me. I have to paint, take pictures, and take them to my next class."

Ray sighed and leaned against the counter. "Why me? When is your next class?" He asked, tilting his head. I laughed nervously and pulled a face, looking away. "Uh... In two days?"

He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, of course. You know what? Fine. Cause I love you," he said, and I immediately hugged him tightly. "You're the best, baby!"

"I know that," he said casually, then went back to wiping the counter. This would be an interesting afternoon for sure.

_.oO0Oo._

"Wow, wait- a shower? Why first a shower?"

I rolled my eyes, pulling Ray's shirt off. "One, I don't want you to smell," I said, making him snort. "And two," I continued and pressed a finger to his lips before he could complain, "I need you to shave."

"Shave?" Ray asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't have to shower for that, I can just-"

"No, no!" I said quickly. "Not just your stubble. But like, your chest! And your legs." He raised an eyebrow, then snorted and shook his head. "Not gonna happen."

"But Ray-"

"No!"

"Pleeeeaaase?"

"Gerard, stop."

"If you do it, we'll fuck tonight."

"We'll fuck anyways."

"Ugh, fine. True. But Ray-"

"Oh, fine! Whatever!" He groaned, kicking his jeans off. I let out an excited squeal and turned to the bathroom counter, taking shaving cream and a razor. "You're the literal best."

"Stop pointing out the obvious," Ray muttered, stepping into the shower after kicking his boxers off. I giggled and undressed quickly, getting in soon after him.

Ray was standing under the water, his eyes closed and his head tilted back. I froze and stared at him- he looked beautiful. Like... Like a god, or something. /perfect/. More than perfect, even, but there's simply no way to describe it.

"Fucking voyeur," Ray snorted when he caught me staring, grinning. I blushed and quickly got into the shower, setting the cream and the razor down. "You're just too beautiful," I mumbled, turning to face him. Ray just snorted, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You're one to talk," he whispered, leaning down to kiss me lightly. I smiled and kissed back, eyes falling shut. He needed to shut up already- he was the literal definition of beautiful. No, he was more than that. Way more.

I pulled away suddenly, grinning. "Let's get to work," I said, laughing when Ray rolled his eyes. I took the cream, then turned around and looked at Ray for a few seconds. Then I squirted some onto my hands and started covering his chin and cheeks. Stubble had to come off. Ray just pouted and stood still, staring down at me.

I pulled away and giggled a bit, reaching for the razor. "Looks cute. Nice beard," I laughed, Ray flipping me off. Which, of course, only made me laugh even louder. I reached up and started carefully shaving his jaw, narrowing my eyes and sticking my tongue out in concentration. Once I finished, I did the same for his chest, and then his legs. I stood up again once I finished, staring at him. It was strange, but... /nice/.

"Your legs are so smooth," I mumbled as I cleaned the razor. "Girls would be jealous. Oh! Would look nice in a skirt- wear a skirt for me tonight?" I asked, pouting. Ray giggled and rolled his eyes, glancing down at himself. "Y'know what? I will," he said, and I let out an excited squeal. That was another thing I loved- Ray was so muscly, a little chubby (in the literal cutest way ever), yet he rocked a dress or a skirt and high heels. He probably made every person ever question their sexuality, really.

"Now, let's get to the real deal!" I said with a smirk, getting out of the shower. I grabbed two towels and wrapped one around my waist, then threw the second one over my head lightly. I took Ray's hand while he carefully stepped out of the tub, then wrapped a towel around his body, pressing a kiss to his chest afterwards. "Lovely," I whispered, grinning up at him.

"S-shuddup," Ray mumbled, blushing a little. I giggled and quickly dried off and got dressed. "I'll get everything ready!" I called out before leaving the bathroom, walking to the bedroom and finding the paint I got.

Once Ray walked into the room, just a towel around his waist, I had everything ready: my paint, brushes, a camera, and pictures. I simply motioned to the bed, and he slowly got down on his back.

"Towel off," I said, smirking when he slowly pulled it away. "Good. Beautiful."

Ray rolled his eyes, glancing at the paint. "So, uh... What're you gonna do, then?" He asked slowly. I smirked as I opened a bottle of dark blue paint, taking a brush.

"You'll see soon enough."

_.oO0Oo._

"Gerard, I-I'm speechless..."

Ray was standing in front of the mirror, staring at his own reflection. I smirked a bit- I painted a dark sky on him, covered with starts and planets. I even painted some small details on his face: stars, little planets, and made some parts dark blue.

"Can I take my pictures...?" I asked, smiling sweetly. Ray nodded quickly, turning to face me. "Yeah! I- Gee, this is beautiful!" He said again, laughing. I grinned proudly and took the camera, guiding Ray to stand in front of a plain wall. "There, just stand there and be pretty."

He giggled a bit and looked away, occasionally shifting. I took tons of pictures, zooming in on different body parts. "Okay, turn around," I said. "Need the back and the sides."

Once we finished, I made him take yet another shower. Too bad the paint had to come off. I waited in the living room, scrolling through the pictures. I couldn't help but giggle- I loved him more than anything. He was a good damn model, I had to do this more often.

"Hey," Ray said, walking back out of the bathroom. "Hi," I mumbled, not looking up at him. I raised an eyebrow when I noticed he stopped right in front of me.

"What's wro-" I started and looked up, but cut myself off immediately. He seriously put on a skirt. He just stared down at me, smirking a bit. "Like it?"

I nodded silently, staring at him. His shaven legs under that goddamn black skirt and-

Ray sat down next to me, curling up against my side. I smiled wide and shifted a bit, wrapping my arm around him and stroking his hair. Soon enough I put the camera away and gently pushed him down, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, leaning in to nuzzle his neck. Ray giggled a bit and played with my hair, pulling me down next to him.

"Cuddles, fucker," he mumbled, curling up against my chest. I gently stroked his hip while holding him close, and really, I couldn't feel more relaxed than this.


	7. 25 y/o

"You look fantastic."

Ray turned to face me, then grinned a bit. "Thanks," he said softly, walking over quickly and pecking my lips. "As do you."

"That green sweater is adorable on you, you know?" I murmured, wrapping my arms around his waist. "And those glasses, oh my god, fuck me right now."

Ray smiled wide and pressed his lips to my forehead as he spoke, "yet not at all as adorable as you, all wrapped up in that coat. It's like, twice as wide as you are!"

I laughed and shrugged a bit. "It's cold out, babe." It really was. Snow was nice, though. A thick scarf, hat and gloves were necessary. I didn't care if I looked like I just ate twice my body weight, being warm was top priority.

Ray rolled his eyes, grinning. "You always have to exaggerate, don't you?" He murmured playfully, kissing my nose. I huffed and playfully pouted, making him laugh.

We looked up when the doorbell rang. "Who could that be...?" Ray asked, walking to the door and opening it.

"Merry Christmas!" Frank and James, his friend we'd met before.

"Oh my god, hi!" Ray laughed, opening the door. "Come in!" The two walked in, James immediately hugging Ray. "My favorite guy, merry Christmas!" He said, while Frank came over and hugged me tightly.

They switched eventually, James coming over to me. "Gerard, my other favorite guy!" He said, squeezing me close. I giggled and gripped his shoulders a bit. "James-!"

"I thought I was your favorite!" Frank called out, peeking over Ray's shoulder with a pout.

"Frankie, you know you'll always be my main hoe," James said, blowing Frank a kiss. Frank giggled and walked over to us. "Good. Oh yeah! We got you, like, a Christmas card," he said. "I mean, Jamia and I."

"Yeah, we're not dating, I swear," James added. "But I got you one too." Ray giggled a bit at them, and I knew it would take a long while before we could go to mom's place for the Christmas dinner.

_.oO0Oo._

"Alright, we should go. Did you gather the presents?"

I nodded, pointing at the large bag next to the door. "All of 'em."

"Then we're good to go," Ray said, smiling wide. I nodded eagerly and took his hand, quickly pulling him to the door. "Can you lock up?" I asked, picking the bag up with a groan. Ray closed the door and locked it, then walked to the staircase.

"Ray, come on!"

I was already standing by the elevator, eyes wide. "You're not gonna make me take the stairs while carrying a bag as big as myself," I said, shaking my head reluctantly. "These are our presents, but also Mikey and Pete's!" He hit himself on the forehead, then laughed and walked over. "Right. My bad."

I pouted playfully and stepped into the elevator, tugging Ray along. "Rude."

Ray simply rolled his eyes, then ruffled my hair lightly. "Anyway- I'm really excited," he whispered, shifting a bit. I laughed and set the bag down, holding both his hands. "Hey, don't be nervous or anything. It's just mom, Pete and Mikey," I murmured, kissing both his hands. He nodded a bit, kissing my hands in return. "Yeah- that's good," he mumbled, swaying a bit.

The little bell let us know we reached the ground floor, and we walked out when the door opened. Ray already ran to the front door, holding it open for me. I smiled at him as a thank you and quickly made my way to the car, setting the bag down with a groan.

"God, finally," I grumbled, opening the trunk and setting the bag in it. Ray chuckled and got into the passenger's seat, calling out, "c'mon, sweetheart!"

I chuckled and quickly got into the driver's seat, pecking his lips before starting the car and driving off to mom's place.

Once we got there, Ray got out of the car immediately and ran to the door. "Wait!" I called out, taking the bag out of the car, but Ray already knocked on the door. I rolled my eyes but laughed at his excitement, dragging the bag over.

Mikey opened the door a few seconds later, grinning. "Gee, Ray! Come in!" He exclaimed, hugging both of us before we walked in. "Merry Christmas," he said, closing the door after us. "Mom! Gee and Ray are here!"

We walked to the living room, Mikey following close behind us. "Boys, hi!" Mom exclaimed, getting up from the couch. Pete was busy rearranging the presents laying underneath the Christmas tree, giving us a grin and a small wave.

"Merry Christmas, mama!" I said, walking over and hugging her tightly. She laughed and hugged me back tightly, kissing my cheeks. "Merry Christmas, honey- how are you two??" She asked, motioning us to the couch. "Do you want something to drink?"

We all sat together and talked for a long while, later moving to the table for dinner. Mom was, like, the best cook around. Ray was obviously the first one to ask if she needed help. Mom chuckled and lightly pushed him back down in his seat, patting his hair. "No, no, sweetheart. Stay here, I'll be okay!" And with that, she walked back into the kitchen.

Ray blushed faintly and pouted, Mikey cooing. I chuckled and took Ray's hand, kissing his cheek. "What a cutie," I murmured, Ray shoving me lightly.

"Shuddup. I'm only trying to be nice," he mumbled. I giggled and took his hand, humming softly. Mom soon came out of the kitchen again, and started setting a huge amount of food onto the table. It smelled fantastic. Everyone eagerly filled their plates and began eating.

After dinner, time for presents. Finally- I'd been eager to give ours. We all quickly moved back to the couch, though Pete and Mikey kept standing up. "Can we give ours fiiiirst...?" Mikey asked, grinning a bit. Once we agreed, he immediately say by the Christmas tree, looking through the presents to find theirs. Pete kneeled next to him and searched along.

"Got it!" Mikey said, standing back up and holding a wrapped-up box. He glanced at Pete, who nodded, then walked over to Ray and I.

"For you guys," he said softly, holding the box out with a grin. I took it slowly, eyes wide and curious. "Thanks, guys!" I said, then carefully started to pull the wrapping paper away. Ray pulled the last parts away, then let out a gasp. "A Polaroid camera??"

"Well, you have a wall for pictures at your place," Mikey started, "but there's barely any pictures on there. And printing photos is expensive as fuck, so-" he shrugged, motioning at the camera.

I smiled wide, looking up. "I- thank you guys so much!" I said, jumping up and hugging them both tightly, Ray following my example soon enough.

"Okay, next ones!". Mikey and Pete quickly walked to the tree to gather a few boxes. Pete had to help this time- there were a /lot/. They weren't big, but a little heavy. They stacked them on the couch next to mom, then sat back with a grin.

"All for me?" She asked quietly, her eyes wide. Mikey and Pete both nodded, smiling wide at her. Mom chuckled a bit as she started unwrapping them- it took quite a while.

She laughed a bit once she finished- all the boxes had been filled with all kinds of chocolate. Everyone knew mom adored chocolate. There was also an envelope with a coupon for a nice dinner at some fancy restaurant nearby.

"My god- thank you, boys!" She laughed, getting up and walking over to hug them tightly. "Merry Christmas, mom," Mikey whispered, kissing her cheek. Once mom turned away, Pete high fived Mikey. They were like little kids.

"Our turn," I said, grinning a bit. I winked at Ray and walked to the tree, taking a few more boxes. "Mikes, Pete, for you," I said. Not that it was really needed- mom had walked to the kitchen. They both watched with wide eyes as Ray and I bought the boxes over, and they immediately started unwrapping them.

"Cat food?" Mikey said, frowning. "I mean- we don't have a cat..."

"But I know you always wanted one!" I said, Pete nodding in agreement. Mikey laughed a bit, looking down at the different kinds of food and toys. "But we don't /have/ one-"

"Yet," mom interrupted, peeking out of the kitchen. Her hands were behind her back as she walked over, smiling sweetly. I nudged Ray lightly and shot him a grin.

"What do you-" Mikey started, but cut himself off once mom held up the basket she was holding. Inside were a few small blankets and pillows, and in the middle was a tiny kitten, purring as it slept.

"You-?!" Mikey squealed, covering his mouth with his hands. Pete's eyes widened as he stared at the basket, his jaw dropping. "Merry Christmas," mom laughed, carefully setting the basket on Mikey's lap. "Her name is Snowball. She's only a few months old, and she loves sleeping," mom laughed. Mikey carefully picked the kitten up, holding it to his chest.

"Hey there, little girl...!" He whispered and kissed Snowball's head, the little cat stirring and making a soft noise. "My god, I love you already," Mikey murmured, turning to Pete. "Look how adorable she is!" He gasped. Pete was still speechless, and he reached out to lightly pet her head.

Mom chuckled and smiled at Ray and I, obviously proud. "Right- next!" She suddenly said, walking to the tree quickly. I watched her curiously, pouting when Ray pulled me down onto the couch. She soon walked over, handing us each a present. "Merry Christmas, you two," she said with a smile.

I looked at Ray, who was already opening his present. I smiled a bit at how excited and childish he seemed, then quickly unwrapped my own present.

"Oh my god!" Ray exclaimed, smiling wide. On his lap were guitar picks and strings, as well as a couple comics. I looked down and pulled the last layer of mine away, grinning. Art supplies and more comics. "Mom, thank you!" I laughed, jumping up to hug her tightly. Ray smiled brightly and soon did the same thing.

"Okay, the last ones!" I said, Ray running back to the tree to gather our last few ones. He handed them to me, so I could give them to mom. She smiled wide and sat back down on the couch, opening the last few presents. Paintings Ray and I made together.

"No more complaining about boring walls now, okay?" I told mom, laughing. She giggled and hugged us both quickly. "Oh god- thank you guys so much!" She said, staring at the paintings lovingly. "You're getting better and better, Gerard," she whispered, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I blushed faintly and playfully rolled my eyes. "Been taking some classes..." I muttered.

"He's amazing at like, any kind of art," Ray said, smiling wide. I rolled my eyes and pouted at him. "Babe..." I started, but he just grinned and kissed me quickly. "It's true."

"Hey, there's one present left!" Mikey suddenly called out, frowning. "Did we forget-?" He asked, but Pete shook his head. "We got 'em all."

"It's mine," I said quickly, and walked over to the tree. I picked the small box up and took a deep breath as everyone quickly sat back down. I looked around a bit, then walked over to Ray, whose eyes widened.

"For you," I whispered, handing it over slowly. "For the sweetest, most beautiful person I've ever met."

Ray blushed faintly and smiled up at me, then quickly unwrapped it. "We already did our presents this morning...!" He mumbled, frowning as he saw the small, black box. He opened it carefully, and his eyes widened when he saw the silver ring inside. "Gerard-?" He started, looking up at me. I bit my lip and took the box from him, then kneeled down in front of him.

"I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else," I whispered, hearing soft gasps from behind me. "Marry me?" I asked softly, looking up at Ray. His eyes teared up and he brought his shaky hands down, taking mine.

"O-of course," he whispered back, slipping off of the couch to be on the same level as me. He looked down as I slipped the ring around his finger, covering his mouth with his free hand. "My god, Gerard..." He whispered, then threw his arms around my neck. I fell backwards with a squeak and laughed, falling tears forming in my own eyes. The other three stood up, applauding. Mom was in tears, and Mikey was trying to hide his own.

Today couldn't get any more perfect, was all I could think while Ray pressed his lips to mine ever so sweetly.


	8. 28 y/o

"He's taking so long! Or is that just me? I'm just really nervous and excited and oh my god-"

Mikey sighed, taking my hand. "Gerard, calm down. He'll be here soon, okay?" He said, nodding. I nodded as well, taking a shaky breath and glancing around. I was standing in front of the altar with Mikey, waiting for Ray.

I couldn't believe we were getting married.

Mikey was (obviously) my best man. Frank was Ray's, and he was standing at the other side of the altar, talking to some people that were sitting down near him.

My eyes widened when everyone suddenly went quiet and turned around, and I looked at the other side of the room sharply.

It was Ray.

Even though he was wearing a simple tux, just like I was, and seemed awfully nervous... He was perfect.

Ray bit his lip, immediately smiling wide when he saw me. James walked up to him and they linked their arms- it's not like Ray's dad could be here to do it, so he chose James, who would be more than glad to do so.

They slowly walked down the isle, everyone watching them. James was grinning proudly, while lightly stroking Ray's arm to try and calm him down, while Ray seemed to only have eyes for me. Once they arrived, James sat down next to Frank's mom on the front row. Ray stood next to me and immediately grabbed my hand, a wide smile on his face.

"You look beautiful," I whispered in his ear, then pressed a kiss to his cheek. Ray giggled a bit and squeezed my hand, a faint blush on his cheeks. We turned to the front, and I took a deep breath.

I honestly didn't really pay attention to what the pastor was saying, I could only stare at Ray. He was shifting and playing with his fingers nervously, biting down on his lip. I wasn't paying attention to anything else until Jamia, Frank's girlfriend, brought our rings up to the front.

I carefully took Ray's ring, whispering a soft 'I love you' before slipping it around his finger. I could see tears forming in his eyes. Ray sniffled and took my ring, slipping it on carefully. "Forever," he whispered, smiling wide.

"Now..." The pastor continued. "Gerard, will you take Raymond to be your husband, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish his friendship and love him today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor him, laugh with him and cry with him? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

I bit my lip, smiling wide. "I will," I said, squeezing Ray's hand.

"Raymond, will you take Gerard to be your husband, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish his friendship and love him today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor him, laugh with him and cry with him? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

Ray let out a giggle, taking a deep breath. "I will," he said shakily.

"I now pronounce you husband and husband," the man said, smiling wide. "You may kiss you groom. May peace be forever with you." And with that, I threw my arms around Ray's neck and kissed him deeply, tangling my fingers in his hair. He giggled and kissed back eagerly, tears trickling down his cheeks.

I was so, so in love with him.

I pulled away and stared up at him, then hugged him tightly, as if I'd never let go. I wouldn't.

"Fuck, I love you," Ray whispered in my ear, sniffling and pulling me close. "I love you too," I murmured back, pulling back to look at him. I gently wiped his tears away, smiling brightly. "I can't believe we did this."


	9. 30 y/o

"Are you kidding me?!"

Ray looked at me from the other side of the table, his eyes wide, breakfast neglected on his plate. In front of him was the box I gave him, which included paperwork and a teddy bear. I sat back and grinned wide, slowly shaking my head.

"I'm not," I simply said. "I'm serious. That's part of the official paperwork already."

Ray squealed and jumped up, practically climbing over the table to wrap his arms around my neck. I knew it was a dream of his that was coming true. He thanked me about a million times while I held him close, laughing softly at his almost childish reaction.

It was only 10am, yet this day couldn't get any more perfect.

_.oO0Oo._

"Guys- that's unbelievable! Congratulations!!"

We were standing in the living room of mom's house, Mikey and Pete were there, too. We had to bring them the big news, obviously. Once we were done talking, Mikey ran over and hugged me and Ray tightly, laughing loudly. Pete and mom followed his example soon enough.

Everyone was thrilled. Well, the family was literally expanding. Having two gay sons, mom definitely didn't expect to actually become a grandma.

Yet here we were.

_.oO0Oo._

A couple weeks later, we were in the car, on our way to pick her up. Ray was in the passenger's seat, constantly giggling and picking at his hands nervously.

"God, I'm so excited!" Ray whispered. "But- what if she doesn't like one of us, Gee? Or if she doesn't feel happy at our place? Or she-" he rambled, but I rested a hand on his thigh and hushed him.

"Baby, of course she'll like us," I said, smiling. "We've met her before. She loves you about as much as I love you!" I snorted, making Ray chuckle.

"F-for real?" He whispered, and I nodded as I parked the car. "Of course, Ray."

He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Right- right. Good," he whispered, getting out of the car. I followed after him, taking hold of his hand. We walked into the building and went to the office in the front.

We filled in some more paperwork before we were guided to the main room. I pushed the door open, immediately smiling wide as I saw a few little kids playing and talking. It was a gorgeous sight.

Ray let out a gasp when he saw the curly-haired girl we had met a couple times before. She was about four years old, and honestly, her hair was so frizzy that anyone could think she was Ray's biological daughter.

"Grace?" Ray said softly, the girl looking up. She immediately smiled brightly when she saw us, running over. "Hello!"

Ray kneeled down, and she immediately wrapped her little arms around his neck. Ray laughed softly, hugging her close. "Hi there... How are you today?" He asked, stroking her hair.

"I am good!" She giggled, pulling away from the hug. I loved how she was already comfortable around us, and mostly around Ray.

"Today is an exciting day, you know?" Ray told her. Grace turned her head, frowning. "Why?"

"You get to come home with us," I said softly, leaning down next to Ray. She gasped, her eyes widening. "Today??" She exclaimed, a wide grin on her face. Ray and I both laughed softly, and nodded.

"Does that mean you are my new daddies?" Grace whispered, her smile even wider.

Ray bit his lip and smiled, nodding. I could see tears forming in his eyes. "That's right," he whispered, Grace immediately throwing her arms back around his neck in a tight hug.

"Yay!! So we can play together aaaaall the time!" She squealed. Ray nodded, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Exactly...!" He said, hugging her close.

I fell in love all over again.

_.oO0Oo._

Ray had sat in the backseat when we drove home, Grace next to him. They were cuddled together the whole time. I occasionally glanced at them through the rear view mirror, smiling wide at them. Ray was quietly speaking to her, making her giggle from time to time.

"We're home!" I called out as I parked the car, Ray letting out an excited squeal. He got out of the car quickly, walking to the other side and opening Grace's door as well. "We're home, let's go!" He whispered. Grace held her arms out with a pout, and Ray couldn't resist to pick her up and carry her inside.

We took the elevator to the fourth floor, first door- still our own little place. We didn't really feel the need to buy an actual house, the apartment was small and cosy.

"Welcome home," Ray whispered to Grace as he walked through the door, looking around. Grace's eyes were wide, it's like she didn't know where to look first. Them together- it was all so perfect.

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked them, tilting my head. "I want to explore!" Grace simply said, wiggling her hips to be put down. Ray laughed and set her down on the floor, stroking her hair. "Go ahead," he whispered, but Grace took his hand and looked up at him.

"Daddy, come with me!" She pouted, pulling at Ray's arm. Ray giggled and quickly walked after her, down the small hallway and into one of the other rooms.

I sat on the couch, shaking my head and laughing. It felt like I had two kids, now. But I wouldn't want it any other way.


	10. 38 y/o

"Morning, sweetheart."

"Mmh..."

Ray rolled over lazily, eyes still closed, curling into me. I smiled down at him and pulled him close, kissing his forehead slowly. "Slept well...?"

"Myeah," he mumbled, burying his face in my neck. I chuckled and curled around him, pulling the covers up. I snuggled down a bit do our noses were pressed together, and stared into his sleepy eyes. He was still warm, his cheeks and nose red. What a beauty.

He pouted his lips do they brushed over mine and I smiled wide, kissing him lightly and stroking his cheek with my thumb. This is what happiness felt like, to me-

A knock on the door. I frowned. I turned around when it slowly creaked open, sitting up a bit.

"Daddy...?" Grace whispered, peeking into the room. Ray sat up practically immediately, smiling at her from behind the bed covers. "Hi honey...!" He murmured, motioning for her to come over.

Grace grinned and ran over to the bed, crawling into it. She laid down in between Ray and I, curling up. Ray wrapped his arms around her, then curled into me.

"I love you," I whispered to both of them, nuzzling Ray's hair. "Love you too," Ray whispered back, Grace making a happy noise as a reply.

We started nearly every day like this. In the weekends, that is. And I sure was glad I could spend it with my two favorite people.

_.oO0Oo._

I watched from the kitchen as Ray and Grace sat on the floor in the living room, making a puzzle on the floor. I was so, so in love. I had no words.

"No, that one has to go there!"

"No it doesn't! It fits here."

"It doesn't, you're forcing it, and breaking it!!"

"Fine, you do it!"

I giggled a bit, shaking my head. Even them bickering was cute.

"Daddy, that's one of the corners! Put it back!"

"It is? Oh! Oh, it is!"

I shook my head, turning to them. "Breakfast is ready!" I called out. Everything went quiet before the door slammed open, two /children/ running in. "Did you make pancakes again?" "Yeah, you make the best pancakes!"

I laughed and rolled my eyes, stacking the beloved pancakes on a plate. "You two are lucky. Enjoy," I said, sitting down as well.

Kids were noisy, Jesus Christ.

_.oO0Oo._

"Geraaaaaaard?"

I rolled my eyes, looking up from my comic. "Whaaaaat?"

Ray and Grace peeked out of the kitchen, both smiling brightly. "Hey, uh, come take a look? We did something."

"I swear to god, if you ruined the walls-" I grumbled, getting up and walking over to the kitchen. My eyes widened- the place was a /mess/. "Guys, come on!"

"Wait, wait!!" Ray said, while Grace ran over to me, holding a box.

"For you."

I raised an eyebrow, taking the box slowly. "For me?" I asked, and both of them nodded eagerly. I frowned and opened the box slowly, letting out a gasp. "Oh my god, guys!" I laughed. The box was filled with cookies- they were still /warm/. And they had chocolate. Perfection.

"Try one, try one!!"

I laughed at their excitement and picked one up, taking a bite. I gasped, my eyes widening. "Jesus- these are amazing!" I exclaimed, Ray and Grace high fiving.

"It's for you," Grace repeated. "To share," Ray added quickly, smiling hopefully. I chuckled and held the box out so they both could take one.

"They're good! We did it!" Ray cried out, his mouth still full.

I had the literal best family on earth.

_.oO0Oo._

"What the hell happened in here?"

I knew my showers were long, and that I sang really loudly meanwhile, but not loud enough to miss a literal apocalypse. At least, that's what I thought.

The living room was a complete mess. One of the couches was literally upside down, and there were pillows and blankets everywhere. Grace and Ray were nowhere to be found.

"Guys, get in here! Right now!" I called out while turning to the hallway. My eyes narrowed when I heard muffled giggles from behind me. I turned back around, seeing Grace peeking out from under a blanket, and Ray from behind the couch.

"Pillow fort...?" He tried, smiling hopefully. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he let out a whine. "Baby, it's so much fun! We did a good job, too, look!"

"As long as you clean up soon," I mumbled, and went to walk off.

"No, wait!"

I turned back around slowly, looking at Grace. "Yeees...?"

She pouted, holding a hand out. "Come take a look? It's really really cosy inside," she said softly. I went to complain, but then sighed and walked over anyways. She was simply irresistible.

Both of them had me wrapped around their fingers, damnit.

Grace let out an excited squeal and crawled back underneath the tent of blankets, as did Ray. I raised an eyebrow and sat down, lifting the blankets carefully to get in.

My eyes widened a bit- it was actually really well done. Seemed a lot bigger than it did from the outside. The whole inside was just a mass of pillows, stuffies and blankets- they even put up some fairy lights. I was impressed.

"Come cuddleeee," Ray whispered, curled up under the blankets with Grace in his arms. I chuckled and got down next to him, holding them both tightly.

Grace struggled a bit, reaching for some of the stuffies, then pulled them to her chest and set a few around her. It was adorable.

"I love you guys so much," I said for probably the millionth time. But I had meant it every single time. Ray smiled wide, pressing a kiss to my lips. "I love you too..." He whispered between tiny kisses. Grace suddenly peeked up, kissing Ray's cheek before he could lean in to kiss me again. "I love you both too!"

I laughed and pulled them both closer, then shut my eyes. I wish we could stay like this forever.


	11. Chapter 11

I miss you, Ray.

Everything about you.

I never ever stopped loving you, y'know? I never hesitated, not for even a second. I always knew I loved you.

I miss you more and more every day.

I miss your smile and your giggles. I miss the silly stories and songs you wrote, in that notebook you literally always carried around, it never seemed to be full just yet.

I miss holding your hand, holding /you/.

The way you blushed and played with your hands when you got nervous, picking at these fingers that were so strong and flexible from playing literally any instrument anyone gave you.

I miss you, Ray.

I even miss the silly things, like your love for pizza, or how fucking good you are at Mario Kart. How you always got cold when you got tired, yet your hands were always warm.

How your face lit up when you saw me. Shit, your love for cuddles. Probably one of the things I loved the most about you. Sharing a bed with you is probably what happiness felt like to me.

I miss how relaxed and calm you got when I played with your hair.

The tiny noises you made in your sleep, and your cute rosy cheeks when you woke up.

I miss you, Ray.

How you'd do literally anything to make others happy. You were always the first one to ask if people needed help. You'd never leave me, or anyone else for that matter, behind.

You'd do literally anything for me. Cause you loved me. And you knew that I love you too.

If only you realized how perfect you are. You're more than perfect, Ray. I always knew you'd look cute in a skirt or a dress, but /damn/, my boy. You rocked them.

I miss seeing you. Your muscly chest and your cute belly and thighs. Your stubble- I loved seeing it. Feeling it.

You looked so goddamn hot with your glasses on, baby. And even though you were awfully tall, you were a literal child.

One of your favorite pastimes was talking about our future together, wasn't it? I sure loved doing it with you, when we were younger.

God, I can still remember that very first time you told me you were questioning. I hope you knew that even if you didn't identify as male, I'd still be head over heels in love with you.

I never knew my favorite words, the ones I'd always remember, would be "I love you" and "I will". I wish I could hear you say them all over again.

You told me not to let you go. I didn't want to let you go.

But I had to.

You're gone, and I wouldn't hesitate a second to come after you. If only death wouldn't bring sadness to one's loved ones.

It just proved my point from earlier. You'd do anything for literally anyone.

Do you even realize that you saved a man's life? They were about to be attacked- but you intervened when you saw the attacker had a knife.

I really wish you hadn't, Ray.

I never truly understood how a drunk person can ruin so many lives at once. I still haven't forgiven the man. I still haven't forgiven myself, either. For letting you go.

Because of him, you're gone. And I miss you.

I miss you, Ray.


End file.
